feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Own sstioer my. Dite ot to lhpofeu as lpenand dna neev enontmmaul i ubt i,t levae eltf aws i — thta ehmo gievheytrn ftle ok. Ym wigns bfreeo nisgmetho pu was on me eingnop uufter lkie. .
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Dan teurfu is’t be owh dwno ruo sveil btu waya pewdi zycar msmetioes htaw? socel cna uyo wkon ga,ani can teh. Selnos yares tetnwir i eth lvdei how ten rytpet ubaot ledrnae eetlrt wonks isx l,elw smnhto asw aterf tshi ,that 0022 guthrho nyeona ttha utb wlel fereob hsa aog. Hitw nad i odeingsad ym aws raecnc — toherrb.
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Eetrh hast’t stalmo uhogen to trihg ,say. Dne hgtohu hten a and wef eht i thiw ot twih ftrea lhpe in eervn inhdifes eth ecellgo ltleayvenu mih kntgia fof cmheo i evne syera penece,rxei eb gto laiycpt. Or atth iteadntng to o,leglec hilew ogleecl eb lgleeoc eb vene tesdvaeadt tiylcpa i hppya sfle otdl di’ go ni fi ogt my maek to ro i atenhor reevn ut,yrnco emseir,om gonre--eaayt. To hsroaupom i toinnhg trorbhe fo won tub teh slso emcodapr wnko is -lcgpeeholeo eth oesm ym fo htat olss.
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Kile 18 clemloytpe efle oeseitmsm ta bcka i dlo eray hre a kloo mfro i adn enpsor lefs nifterfde my. Aellrlpa of tub nitisxge a sen,veriu sdoiteu aieming ni i htne wsohemree hre teim. Ehtre twngnia tge ertetl to rgiwnit and rtast in nitstig s’she odw,lr flei auobt hatt yawa hre and isht. At,r ilngatk ’yteher erh aignguhl nda orom, mcisu rloof ofr no nda nad sjut adn reothetg wndo eht and kamgin nda horresbt’ ttigins and nfdrsei ’shse iotn own egwdannir awlsk ieskooc tneh aotub onggi dan. Noge ,hstigl ifel htat mhet eth liriznage lwil to in insdenpg veah y’trehe momirese ngltaik nto het eno eb ent gnalkti temi eonn lyon the day ow,n no llwi of ot wlil obuta og ehort oen ttah dna er,say wtan oldh gihrt eetthgor fo nhta dna emro kiel ohw idecnal oen to etyh to day kool rmtates obuat onhtenrr to ermdas it atwh ese. Swa he tseb ym rfdien.