A letter from Dec 09, 2024

Dear Shadow Enjoyer, The Adler cosplay seems so far away at this point, particularly because since then I've also "cosplayed" Arima Kana for the Pop in 2 dance for Karaoke night, which was so awesome. Also I just performed Escape from the City with Cliff for music night which was also cool. Hopefully we can rope Owen into joining us next time as well and maybe even Chris. I went to Hyde Park with Chris, Alex, Umair and Yoshi a couple weeks ago. It was the first time I'd seen Yoshi in months honestly I feel like I speak to Umair more regularly at this point. It was super fun, and I'd love to go again. Also I need to make plans with Umair to go to Build a Bear once the Shadow plushie drops. Also I've spent like a good couple hundred on Shadow merch in the past month so yeah that's great. I've had to send a lot of it to Laura so she can put everything all together and send it to me since shipping everything individually would be a financial nightmare. I've got quite a nice display going on on my bedroom door, and 2 plushies on the bed. Also the new movie comes out on the 20th which is super hype. I'll probably end up going with Cliff but we'll see who's available. I got back my placement feedback and I'm pretty happy with it but I just wish it actually counted towards my final degree. Also financial methods was fine and I submitted the Bayesian coursework in time and I'm honestly pretty proud of my work, particularly on the first question. I need to work really hard on my lit review now, at least I've started unlike Chris though. Also the second half of the financial methods coursework but I mean that's just copying Dan's work and changing it a bit really. I have so much revision as well though this will barely even be a holiday it feels like... Yoshi is about to start getting unemployment checks around the 20th so finally he won't have to rely on me. And maybe he can even start paying me back wouldn't that be nice. In the end I did play Sonic Heroes with all the teams, I wouldn't say I enjoyed it but I seem to like frustrating games so works for me. I've started playing Shadow the Hedgehog but I've been so busy so I haven't gotten super far with it yet. I think SA2 is still my favourite game so far but we'll see if that changes eventually. Also I printed another chaos emerald, smaller so I can hold it easier, and I still need to finish painting that figure (I hate painting). I did manage to find the time to finish FMAB with Chris though, and we watched Home Alone and Last Holiday together as well. I still haven't met up with Josie so god knows how she's doing. I should probably check up on her. I absolutely love my tattoo and the whole experience was just super fun, wasn't painful at all and I'm pretty proud of myself for getting it on my own. Also Soonbomb was just super chill and the place had great vibes all around so yeah honestly one of the best things to happen in recent months. I'm going home for Christmas on Wednesday, on the one hand I'm sad to leave but on the other I have no reason to stay with Chris gone. If he stayed longer I probably would as well, but it's far too lonely without him. Not to get all depressing during Christmas but I worry once uni ends I'll truly have no one close to me anymore. I had Alex in first year, Yoshi in second, no one in particular for most of my placement year as Yoshi slowly dropped off the face of the earth, and now Chris since we live together. And after uni, Alex will be back in Birmingham, Chris in ******* Sri Lanka and then eventually London, and Dan in Cambridge raising a ******* child like holy ****. Yoshi will probably stick around Guildford though, his grandpa seems to be doing fine as far as the cancer goes so he hopefully won't be dying anytime soon. At least currently I'm Chris' close friend and housemate, but next year I'll blend in with all the other friends he has. Maybe when Chris comes back and sells his current house we could move in somewhere else together, I think I'd really like that. I guess at the end of the day though it all boils down to me being aroace, I can't really give Chris what he wants and deserves. I'm totally touch-starved but that's only good for hugs or hand-holding, it's so pathetic. At this rate my best bet is keeping in touch with Koi. I do like them, obviously I've never met them though so it's nothing more than a nice idea realistically. Who knows though, maybe the stars will align and someone, Chris or otherwise, won't mind how I am and can come to some sort of compromise that means I'll never have to worry about being forgotten. For now though, I'm at least happy that he's started opening up a bit more to me about his family situation and such, and he trusted me to not tell anyone as well which I think is really poor judgement on his part but whatever, I haven't told anyone and I'm not going to. Telling someone behind his back would be such a betrayal of his trust I wouldn't blame him if he cut me off entirely, and I can't let that happen even if my lips are as loose as the weather is windy. My job sucks I want a day off. Best regards, Arlo "Rise and Grind" Linnard