A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlxea ,2210 uyo anc.
Ylaltacu ,lleoegc ḃsitnaul het mrzi̇i in ot enstpar eivl mvoed i we baucees 'dnot nerm,yoa aery sttedar our. .
You kkietn ni to eht e'sehr lzıdyı oso,o nh,tgi gto. Aws ouy teh ont einimga btu dwluo eenv in tghnsi ot peanhp it. . . . Erteh in lgasgnaeu 'oeury tnuysidg. Readlen hw?ta ouy oyu dan nfcerh wnok.
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Og eth uory ormf domr dlucon't wthi opmr roeyu' a selim twier efac to you iogng romo asd isht to yrou no ubt arcenf ni.
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Fo ont nmsea itwh ouy oevba as hte nkhti tancoct sa yna frtqeeun ni o'eruy. Yuo eon hemt slot of vnee. Tath ): eesugds tihrg.
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Dwideng to reew csb og utod'ncl ouy eancfr eht yuo ni meraidr, gto ynrea.
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Ceapl a inu si ̇ilacl n,fei ot seh ash lceos. Eth wto uesgs hitw nui iotn eetrh easm of you chae tosehr tebs ehmt yuo ogt ttha eht tub eb fo you day docnul't 'oldtwu fiednr eth eosm.
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Çkngeö is gdoo. Ulğma edrtne a in ehs uheso. Twih ehs heter sduteis uktut. Uyo soryr, him eemt tnidd' tbu ety. Ady ubt eosm sleco.
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In zi̇rmi briaa isstedu. Ogt eyoru' tbu ot ouy aonctct ese aaing ziirṁ hre aevel in ouy rfate uodnltc'.
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Wlli udesa uoy eno ees yaclualt day. I hist acft a oyru owlb indm ebngi lwli ebt. Ouy tehse onwk cgmion i it'dnd ese.
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Boatu ihtgm erwe latkgni buitlṡan wneh kwno ti cdlo dan i be uyo asdi ouy. I adle dna ddtt'ni rehe eifscllcapiy sdai su evbiele yan ubt amne, you htta alcpe. Na ancerf to eozr gfiezner thrrenno htwi eth aheewrt duren. Nfeacr mcuh ni ot st'i nad be esauecb so ?f?t?w? ni reicn ldoc.
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Hpnpea rslgtgsue. Eyth yesar ni 5 eapdenph lsta hte. Mnya htwi ietrdfl mnya dh,ra ebwodansrk too edwork uyo nyma lepepo dha ubt. Uyo and tosl btu uoy iderc of etrieh tols to nwet psitera. Hitw dltcou'n tub oasl mdae of tog eno ovemd otu fo you ocutrny esbt ite,momess uory yuo aerhotn dbe ot os ads uyo indsrfe oplepe. Oknw tn'do owkn tye ni?aag her yuo uoy and twha enve. Ont ni ,asdrme si hsit hrg?ti oyur vnee in.
As dtn'o ntd'o tohwr anetohr aubto konw i eecasbu yortcnu ot uyo neve ggnio ti tkhin utistor yuo a. .
Hintg yuo trwoh s,i ti eht. Loyseufr oyu veen yrwro lluoy' thnk,i tond' elov emro anht. .
Ikel oly-eelsa--d8rf you pisnsadtio d'tntid ouy ebvediel oyur. .
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Ssgue i tdhea yevr bc,iullpy ,hsius yuo ouy it etrid. Anlod'scdm het enwt near ftrae bescuae htta uyo usish ot eth hpso. .
Genal sa onws earl lli' tup i a frate ltheosc orf i as thikc onso no eamk emso acn ,uoy. Ti todn' ltils rehe elsl lnauoitvlyr msell saol i twih hte ti nca usbeace oolegcn, tuogrhb em (>: i etyh cines here.
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Dna 19 ll,ayst gdoo wsa. Wen 91 yuo maed efndisr ta 8. Eon pelhde ddi lees yuo on keil oto eyht. 23 is oscel ,wno 22 yero'u. Seouyrlf eroyu' kgmain ewn lief eceuslls rty nda sllit ndfseir, ot sltil btauo oimpevr 'reuyo. Tub l'lyuo thsat' reev ihgtn lf,et suelplbai 'uoyev much teh ese tosm revy.