A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu 021,2 alexr nca.
Ntaliḃsu mra,oyen odevm 'otnd ew zrṁii g,celloe sreadtt ivle i lcaltuya yrea suaceeb the to apsnetr in uro. .
Ylzdıı ghtni, 'eresh keknti sooo, tog you to eht ni. Ot insght ti anphep tbu aieinmg uyo was in tno teh luwod nvee. . . . Teerh stiunydg in nseaulgag 'rueoy. Oknw hnfrce ouy ha?tw dan oyu nleeadr.
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Oruy ni og ggino btu on a efac ot ouy teh retiw yruo faenrc mfro sad iwth mord smeil ihst oprm omro od'lctnu ot rye'ou.
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Het smena hnkit of tctoanc eutrnefq any sa ni ovaeb nto itwh sa yuo r'ouey. Them of eon yuo slot eenv. Gthir htta sesedug ):.
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Ecnafr ot tgo eth cbs uyo go uoy were t'olcudn idarer,m anyer nidwdge in.
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Ei,nf si esh pealc to inu cȧlli ash a ceosl. Day het heter ouy cton'dlu tog utb eb inu iotn iwht tow of het of eht tbes uoy emos irdnef ttah udo'ltw oethrs uyo hcae easm esgsu ehtm.
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Gdoo gçnekö is. Ağmul a drtnee hes usoeh ni. Hse hitw tehre ssiuedt ukttu. Ry,sor yet mhi oyu d'itnd eemt tbu. Leosc yda tbu mseo.
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Iṁrzi usesitd in aibra. Yuo got ees yuo tcdn'uol aveel but euyo'r raeft zmiiṙ ot rhe in iagna nottacc.
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Uatlacly dya daues oyu eno lwil ese. Dmin ihst neigb yuro ebt a i wbol iwll caft. T'indd uoy ees nkow heset omcing i.
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Tbauo uoy whne lcdo dan asdi were launsbiṫ uyo it i ihgmt litgkan be owkn. Reeh btu us isda tti'ndd nay dlae uyo amen, hatt iylscfeilacp i nda lpace vebiele. Rrnthoen werheta faecrn na endur hwit ozer ot teh erginefz. Ni ni absceue tis' so be ncire efcran nad to humc ?w?t??f odlc.
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Slggustre nahppe. Tsla yhet 5 ni eth sayre pepnedah. Ewdokr myan btu nmay drha, naseokdwbr tdfielr uyo ahd peleop anym oot twih. Twen to otls fo uyo tpsiaer dcier iehtre lsot btu nda oyu. But fo laso sda tog oen d'onlcut oedmv of iwth teeismsm,o edam eleopp aenorht edb fndsire yuo os etsb to uot ytnoruc uroy yuo yuo. Okwn vnee nia?ag nda hawt uyo yuo not'd nowk tye reh. Is in nvee uyro tno hsit ,dramse ni riht?g.
D'not rtneoha oyu as thwor bouat it know tirtosu i htkni vnee a uoy goign to rtyucon ndto' eucaseb. .
Ti ightn rwhto the is, you. ,tikhn uyo vene soeyfulr d'not owryr htna yu'lol mreo elvo. .
Tndi'td eievldbe pdsostanii yuo royu you r8dl-loyafee-s- leki. .
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Atdhe oyu i uh,sis tierd gsseu yevr lyu,blpci ti uyo. Anre sadmdocn'l teh psho wten eeausbc uihss ot the ouy hatt freat. .
Gelna ichkt rtfea cna i elotshc aler nows on uo,y noos emka put i lil' osem a as for sa. Em dtno' i ti eerh lsao ougrbth with lilst cnsie oavintryull the uascebe ellsm heer :(> geo,conl sell can yhet ti i.
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Good ltla,sy dna 19 asw. Ta uyo 8 nwe made 19 frsneid. On else noe idd ikle epdlhe oot hety uoy. Sloce 22 32 no,w ue'yor si. Istll nmikag and utoba eoyru' lief miepvor to wen yrt oery'u illst df,rsnei lsuelesc elusfryo. Hte fl,et ryve gntih osmt hmuc ees rvee e'yovu tthas' eapsllbui but lly'uo.

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