Time Travelled — almost 5 years

A letter from February 20th, 2019

Feb 20, 2019 Feb 20, 2024

Epilogue

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I'm almost eighteen and on my way to uni and I don't know where I go yet so that's exciting. I hope you've somewhat gotten over the MDD and are enjoying a more fulfilled and meaningful life. I hope you've been honest and vulnerable in your conversations with other people. I know you're going to think of some of the things I'm now doing as childish or dumb and that's okay because it means we've grown. But I'm trying really hard to become better and to try to get you to a better place at that time (your time). If you're not in a good place then I'm sorry and I know that we can get through anything because we're pretty badass. And if you are in a good place then yayyy. I hope you have a better relationship with Ammu now and if you don’t then you know you should be trying harder. I hope you're more comfortable in your own head now and if you aren't then you know what to make a priority. Right now it is a Wednesday night and Amma said she'll take me shopping to go buy a sports bra tomorrow. Had some bomb pasta for dinner. I am really looking forward to Lin Manual Mirandas special on Brooklyn Nine Nine and I am really looking forward to Preeta Aunties birthday party even if it means I can't go to Kitty's.

Epilogue

12 months later

That was an insane time capsule. Thank you for that. I have ran away to find myself and found a letter waiting.

I'm 23 now and I've graduated from not...

Tirseenuivsi utb wto eno,. It velo dema i rfo sdefrin read hdacegn os reverof nad 'mi myna redaenl aedyrl so vei' e'iv os m,chu h,cum. A onkilgo mi' ingfdni yrve orf veyr ficdutfil it job im' dan. Ubt nedfrsi ni ni ifatebluu ym voer ehad mi' seehl dan a city ievl i best htiw olev. Nda hcarm alts wdaxe tshfi a dtarisc ahs aktne hte vfei wndea eyras icsne ltsa voer eth sha tub dmd. Ivnetgyehr anc hnew htat eteyngvhir i be 'di to, i erltet swa aerd you edsppsou i ot ellt wtha wno, teh hacns,ge blea has if ot ltoudwn'. Tuo pu rogw oyu gowr nda. Ot cicohe rale ni logecnlipm eavh eht is ouy nmsddae adn wdlor rfa no omre ,rdexecpinee eht amtetr eb. Si litls umch ot teehr so go ftle btu. .
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Hsockde tandisec teertl hatt utb yb woh i wnhe i treow i teenebw eknw swa 'im i ghhtuot eth su. So nda ahs oeyrveen me naym os ensc,i 'ive drunoa ebne lopepe. Ehr os erfdonlwu roudp t'lonucd and i be amu'ms fo pu s'she ogwnr emro. Eht nda eb iwll spnore my ni waasly euvoartfi otulabes 'sehs wrold. Nldo'tcu i os orf oru aiienhtolsrp raflegtu it byndeo rome eb and and fra emco sha. .
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Reom have dshilich bene dan puiflan sti' ltearnicy hetn, i ucmh but own am, lstil i tighm. Be ,epeopl lowrd nda ertu aneirgnl tertbe ysliesuro to het tkae meysf,l yfemls to to m'i to ot be. Teh yver in uhcm ot im' onw ot glhceelna efil iesr my dan my wno hdasn is gntiry. .
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Bene cna we,ke now epoh hdea my evro stal orme sasntiu i teh i in boorclmftae ev'i ti. Thta cna neagrg eb elyfsm, ot vgei crage geiv i laopcned dkiren ti hwne so gnikepas ilek to fsylme ssay te,sohr. Atrhstee hahaha siltbor in of ltsa the ovisenr hedat a dna ni wthdcae ti erya lnmaohit i. .
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A 'tis won e,ginnve tirhg 2:43 nydmoa mp. Ofr dytesa hitng knhcice hetcdwa lnfeai revo het iecconusss a dan mead atsl ernidn adn uryrc zamha snaoes 2 i. Erisg hmi os dnrnogsieic entgly allc ska ot rftsi atth mscoe dnki otu ecoxda bgnoro txa do bde and teh kpci hrwot roffe ,ferof ouy onmrgin ruyo i ycnnuslocat dto'n have atobu btu cnhaa i yaw ot sida teh dna of tish hwta aws ttha s'ti lcudo nad eh. Adn rau oto i ti gtineoshm tnpui inlachlo for mmua kesad dna buato ekdsa oot adn dna eesl camr osni kewe lsat i. Is elov ym elarylg ym reyv sehte hcum i file so efeculdnin tvsninaroceos ihtw by ppoele. To'dn hre eerh epho utb ot trenbo i sa i lwle yda i maam uhslo,d eth hre chum i dna and nac one sa sa easpk akte no i as trou olhdsu bgirn. .
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In i haev the nede ta esdn adn leary to nocicemso korw to oomrwrto pitoiaanlpc maal coshol na i. Vcdaaoo i a tad)oy saafbtkre ihwt rof akbudl adh segg amerc belag on ad(n. Asrortit adn hope an sloa ownk i twn'o memrrbe)e we of ile lei, cna tha'st( otu btu het nad cahtc owkn wonk i ro nca nghiott nac ,ti a amrc nahg ntw'o yuo sion wthi i i ipodees ahtwc i. Tlspoiapcnai os do i ynam ot to lypre esmsgase so nad vahe to p'sopele yamn. .
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Renev oyu i ereemrbm ,errcae of orf a nad heop sit tynanhgi a noudf atht hepo vey'uo bleecansm leta i oot. Eohp ber,tet cbuease edarrh i lief and itiennalolnty oemr od ttah wnok thna uthtogh udrnentads ouy i leiv roem oyru uoy evlo aveh uoy rfsyloue adn. Ot in to lses dlwro ,inndootci eth ma i ehett my name in dna ryt my peho n?wko okay ,epntsioetxca not edeitnerts era hoep erda vie' i mreo pu i i elvi do 'todn hatw. Gosmnthei rfo tensho m'i poelpe ei'v nedo ideutos slfeym ophe and i. Yerv pya tehy elda atwh mtevlesesh i oepple dna ot ttah heop ysilmp pya hyet fro edloawl by tyeh you awht it aveh dna orf ermo mbcoee eth ltils tyeh rfo od mrmberee visle. .
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Ti sden to ardh iht indnigf im'. To i sumt skape vhea natw a hte teh eitltl lttlei omer emro nad stju to add hnsitg t,rhee a ibt fo of here i utb od i bti. .

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