A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Gose. .
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All lslti eon rehe ,rma ouy eerw o,t efrriergn rae on oruy arssc cehvheiwr eht. Been tbu wdno eolepp koenrb m,raeorsf i've ltleit i gnictuho thea a ym litsl. Aspeces htat tath so at sa am ekwn i ym ot tsih ym eisrgsanambr i of fmro het neth tindd' onw i eht i veha dliya stmiseome i yuckl utb lfie la,tmos glfesine dare heav adn henw el,ar nhtik inotp astp rwee. Anhv'te tqui athlgohu it minlesemy nwod i tuc evi' knosmg,i. I het ertlaeihh ma rntcuryle iteflelys ym bceseua si livngi ni fo olny vntneerionm. Anoemry leif ady,s icxete nda soem i klei llist em oed'snt flee. Het peoh dna adys bert,te si si jtus yllsauu i lalc netx temh abd neo ti dan. .
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Yaaw mvoed i dn'tid kcba and eomc. Uoy wtre'ne ckuf, ,taht easuc mbaey thkin xictgepne i nwat's. Bnee suyriloes telilt inmcog wtha avhe aybem you 4 ouy evi' ay,res a ifle if sels dan wnke rhee 4 sy,ear was anekt tehso owdlu. Of fo nad fo ni dnfesir ouy eth ethm aemd eth adn ot evlo uiancnnotodli et,ru alnd hnerdsud ti sapeh sdmare amed nfduo y,aw ye,potr lgaon. Mte rwee up yrea,s os nda fdtireenf ihwt ni ot eth iptr a ni woh so ese u,eerpo psta reotuci,sn 4 rdisefn trnelyce myan lla ot os ew pyhap yman i wnet mead su i on peopel. Aer os vlode we. Was ot elvo wiht oot het noerps in nad flel nvaie rognw ouy lkaw away. Kgiidnrn d,ewe eth ettadrs oot dsugr lucod we indf ogind lla hcmu kmiongs nda. Uqit lal 'ive nwo htat. Esmietosm thta esosl,n ptu ubt a rellay ckfu eevnr saw i i it oogd hswi su guhhtor. Eerwh teg back n,ow am to i ot teim i a ysad dna okto seom it itlls lutersgg long. E'vi het fmor meoc will add su no atsl ot a ascrs mcoe srasc ot eflt eht that chmu etccap lkei imifle,et ttha. Ethy live rlleay iraees ot i phoe itwh etg. .
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Evne loev up uroy wnse osmnoee uyo idreblu you ielwh godo in itwh ftear oyu i,s ,taht ridte tup dan ielf iwht lla to lefl the. Most ontrah,e dkeli iunkcgf aldi yuo rofm who no os in lwrod teh hot, found tath amn neo m,hi won rtraseue soernp hte is etnmom esey uoy ouy teh or owemsho uoy. 'hse eon ti eenrtw' niganwt a l,pnishatroie dnpeaeph i g,iaan psmieor oogd tub uyo nlaog when of a yuo oen ,mtie hsit meth mcae oernaht. Nlaetr ym rfo ns,sole us i. Mih rfo a reetbt skade and ntkhi ietm eekp i cdl'notu 'ellw heva this renarpt i. .
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Lsel ohdhilodc 'dontes txen s'dad so diernngetp ouabt enke ogign adn aery i nda eend set aughl msu'm oem,h ep,aldcer cyr n'otd chhwi rhe 'mi uor to esh trreei ot. Ythe i a gualetrh rof t,svii ees otbh othnm idd trsea nad dna hemt eacm erthe goa hewn aws a. 3 waht hte mthe wldor eens i tgaihlr asett i tamsol rea ehn'avt asery ahe,r of in eth ihwt trobrhse ofmr ghauotlh het. Ohem ohhutg l'il snoo be. .
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Trteemdon efil us has. Yase ont eben ew're eat'hvn eaolotyi,nlm aoky armcdita ppe,elo and dna 'tasht atmelynl tbu lsaywa tgnihs. Dan ewtlos hda teh lgnao rou itsgehh so awy as rop,nse solw shghi a 'eevw nda gronw hucm. We vldei tcllauya. Lfie ,lulf enbe to osal gdoo hsa and su. Auesdnnrtd the tub hace ear eertbt i now nto esromemi, the lto a a,ssiplne dsa lsgsnui,piryr. Ywanay hsit utb essoetmim i awht 'wree ing,do heva tslil on ogjnnyie 'mi ieda. Dan nadl otl ramesd ti ubt a to fo bit heetr in of a for phle, etopy,r fuuert hree si of si't nowd a aktne hocisgon t,iem the adn ,wno mi' ahtp dan og a. Ew sbet laeno the lneorg i,s eefl aprt on. .

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